My little family of 3 will soon be a little family of 4! I am pregnant and due early April. I’ll be taking maternity leave in March and April, so that means I’m not taking any newborn clients due in that timeframe. It makes me sad but I’ve already had to refer inquiries for those dates out to other photographers. I know it’s what’s best in the end though, I will need time to recover and to cuddle, bond, and just be with my new little one.
Now on to the fun stuff! To document this pregnancy I decided to write a letter each week to my baby about my wish for his or her life. The things that I hope I can teach, show and share. I will be coupling each entry with a self portrait. The intention is for the self portrait to match the theme of the writing that week. This is my first experience with self portraits and I want to do some really fun and artsy stuff, photo staging and manipulation. I have so many ideas and am already collecting props, thinking of locations and figuring out what I need to do to create the image I see in my head.
Here is my first entry – I actually wrote this about a month ago in anticipation of starting this series. I have not written any of the other posts, just keeping a list of what I do want to write about and inspiration of the images. So welcome, enjoy and I hope you follow me on this journey! xoxo
My Wish for Your Life: 14 Weeks, To Know That You Are Loved
Often in early pregnancy, one wonders if there’s actually something going on in there. Even with the nausea, the food aversions and the exhaustion, is there really something, someone growing inside of me? In 9 short months, will a human being with their own heart, their own soul, and their own thoughts come out of me and into this world?
When you were the tiniest of beans, I saw your heart beating on the screen and I immediately loved you. Your heart beats so early. You, I have no idea who you are yet. . . . but you already have a piece of me.
You are now a part of my history, a part of my story; our stories forever entwined. We are permanently linked, by the fabric of mankind, blood, tissue, genes. My DNA part of yours.
I would never have ventured on this journey of growing life if I didn’t think that I could be the best mom possible to you. If I couldn’t shower you with patience, and kindness and understanding, hope, and above all, love. So much love that my heart swells and feels like it’s going to burst – the aching fills every inch of my being, to the tips of my fingers and the tips of my toes and back again to the edges of my mind and finally ending in the slightly upturned corners of my smile.
You are alive in there, you’re growing because of me, because we decided to bring you into the world. I am responsible for you, for your life and I take that role, job, responsibility seriously. I promise you that above all and regardless of what this crazy world throws at us, and I promise you there will be crazy times, I will always love you more than you can even comprehend.
PHOTO INFO: This was my FIRST ever self portrait. It was about 20 mins before sunset and it had been raining all afternoon. I didn’t think I’d be able to fit it in but with it drizzling, I jumped in the car and drove around the neighborhood lakes until I found a good spot. To take self portraits in the open is STRANGE to say the least. I think I was laughing in this photo as I thought about the people in the houses across the street watching me and my camera get drizzled on as I ran back and forth between the camera and my spot, throwing the remote trigger before every shot, trying to fix my hair, look pensive and deep in thought. So I chose this one out of the series I took because my smile was genuine. I did not do my hair, makeup or put together an outfit for this, this is how I looked that day. I do wish that I had pulled down my shirt so it wasn’t so wrinkled. And I promise that my belly looks much bigger than this already! My bottom hand is just covering it a bit! Oh also, I think I missed focus, I think it’s on the hair by my neck and not my eyes. Oh well! Next time I’ll nail it 🙂